Your biggest obstacle - your attitude

Saira Valley

Posted on June 28 2019

Your biggest obstacle - your attitude

Often, we believe that the biggest obstacles keeping us from our goals are circumstances, environment, health, education, privilege, money, weight, marital status etc etc. It is an external entity that is responsible for us not achieving what we want, or going after what we desire. 

I have many times, found myself in this exact dialog with myself. The self doubt, the negative self talk. A million and one excuses for why my life isn't what I want, and how it can't be because of things that are totally outside of my control, or seemingly out of my control. I have these silent conversations with myself that usually result in a sour mood, demotivation, depression, anxiety and withdrawal from socialization. It also turns into a self fulfilling prophecy and I find my creativity diminishing, my interaction dwindling and my business suffering, along with my family and marriage. 


I want to tell you a story about grass. Yes. grass. 

It all started from a book called Kitchen Table Wisdom. The author talks about her rushed walks to and from work as a young resident in NYC. She was always busy, stressed, get to the next thing, climb the next mountain, get to the next goal. She was racing through her life in fast forward. One day, on the walk she had done a dozen times, she sees something that stops her dead in her tracks. She sees grass growing out of the concrete. 

Funny, all of us have no doubt observed this and never stopped to really think about what that means. She stops, and she absorbs the moment and the realization that these small blades of grass had to fight through CONCRETE, to find their way to the surface and meet the sun. 

Wow. Mind blowing right? I know I have see blades of grass breaking through the roads and never really understood the power behind what I was seeing. 

Will. And a naked truth. Nature will fight hard to survive. Even under seemingly insurmountable odds, it will push, it will fight, it will endure as long as it can. And in this case, it will win. And tufts of grass will push their way through the concrete to drink the sunshine. 

How do we become that grass? How do we look up and see no light, no sun, no hope only slabs of heavy weights and still push up and out? Surely if a blade of grass managed, we can too. 

The first step for me was to be honest about my addiction to negative self talk, and the comfort I found in hiding behind inevitable failure. A bad attitude is not a permanent state of being; it is a habit, and a choice. The first step towards breaking through that slab of concrete holding you down, is to recognize that 9 times out of 10, it was you who put it there to begin with.

It is a hard truth to face. I know for me I have health issues, I have anxiety, I have depression, I have a million other things going on that could prevent me from achieving, and often they do! But I also know of friends who battle with cancer, MS, lupus, paralysis, HIV, and yet they find a way to accomplish massive incredible things, everyday. The difference between them and me? Attitude. 

Over the next few weeks, I am personally going to be working on steps to untangle myself from bad habits that have festered and grown over the years, and have kept me from accomplishing the great things I know I can. I will share those lessons with you as they happen, because maybe you are looking for a way forward too. And maybe, as I find my way, you will find yours.

As of today, I know i need to face the fact that my attitude is what is holding me back from taking everything in my life to the next level. Sure, I have limitations, I have roadblocks and barriers. But if that grass can find a way, so can I. 

Stay tuned! I am hoping as I work on my own mindfulness, and face some hard but important truths about the prisons of my own making, I can help liberate others. 

Shine on!

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