Hidden gifts in the misery and finding gratitude

Saira Valley

Posted on December 17 2020

Hidden gifts in the misery and finding gratitude
For 10 years my sister and I worked in Boston at Beth Isreal Deaconess Medical center. We both loved our jobs, we were good at them. But, the drives were long. REALLY long. Some days it took me 2 hours to drive to work, and 2 hours to get back. It was soul crushing. 

I drove through 3 pregnancies, 2 of which were high risk, I worked long hours and I was exhausted all the time. I remember many times I would cry, so sad. that I spent 4 hours of my day away from my family, trapped in a car, driving. 

It sucked. 

Today I found myself longing for the days of long commutes to the city, because today I realized I don't have a routine of talking to her anymore. It used to be that everyday when I would drive to work, she and I would call. On those long drives, my sister and I would talk, for like, ever. We would laugh, we would share memories, we would talk about work and strategies for the future. Our chats were epic. 

At the time, I was of course grateful for the company, but I was also so busy being annoyed that I was stuck driving, I think I missed just HOW important it was. That time together. 

It has been years, almost 6, since Minessa and I have stopped talking every day. And now thanks to Covid, it has been a year since I've hugged, her, or smelled her hair. 

Today when I tried to reach her and she didn't have her phone, I remembered the sacred times we had together. On those long drives to work, when we were still in our 20s and 30's LOL. 

It made me realize something so important. There are always hard things going on in life; commuting, a virus that locks us in our homes, health issues, marital problems, so many many things that can feel like the weight of a 1000 lbs on our shoulders.

But hidden among those stresses, are gifts. Like the talks I had with my sister for 10 years! Every work day! 10 years of conversations. I have no freaking idea what we talked about, but it doesn't matter. Buried in the misery of a 2 hour commute to work, was a gift of time, and connection with someone important to me. 

Our lives are different now, and that's actually OK. I don't feel bitted or upset that it's different, but I do miss how it was. And that made me think, what gift is hidden in this little discomfort. 

Well, this was it. Gratitude. For all the wonderful moments that I've had with her, and all the future wonderful moments I will have. 

Find ways to be grateful, because there are precious, rare moments that will come and go, right in the middle of that storm. And someday, you will have made your peace with whatever pains you; but those golden nuggets, those priceless moments, those you will never forget. 

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