Today I was strong

Saira Valley

Posted on June 12 2019

Today I was strong
I know I have been quiet the past few months, as someone who struggles with chronic illness, it has been a really tough few months. About a year and a half ago I was diagnosed with sever adrenal fatigue. Translation, my body was put through too much stress and my adrenal glads that produce stress hormones were overtaxed, throwing my entire adrenal and immune system out of whack. This is very very hard to recover from, and the symptoms suck. 

Chronic illness, depression, anxiety; these are all invisible. To the outside world we just get asked if we are tired, why we aren't talkative or social, why we don't make plans or go to the playground, or worse silently judged for being lazy. That is probably the worst one. It is a struggle most days to even wake up and get out of bed. And it isn't just oh I'm gonna sleep in, it's like you have the flu. Everyday.  But everyday I get up, and I push and somedays it is like swimming in mud. 

But today, today I felt strong. Today, I woke up and I had energy! I felt like my old self again, and I raced through tasks without that dreaded feeling of when will this be over. For someone who normally feels like she's hungover, this was HUGE. I had a FANTASTIC day! 

I really gave some thought to what was different about the preceding days that led to how I felt, and the only thing I came up with was my walks. I had fallen out of the habit of my daily walks but over the past 2 weeks recommitted myself to walking at least 5 days a week. I started slow, and have added distance every time I hit the pavement. 

2 weeks in, today was the first day I was out and felt like I wanted to go further, and push harder. I relished the feeling of sweat and breathlessness. I haven't felt that way in a very long time. 

I know how hard it is to start climbing the mountain when you are broken and exhausted. Making the choice to start moving again felt like I was about to hike Everest. But i just did the very best I could do, and promised myself to build from there. Bit by bit. 

You can feel better, even if you don't feel that way today. The first step is choosing to make a change. And walking in the fresh air is a great place to start. 

Today, I was strong. Tomorrow I will be stronger. I know I will 100% hit a wall and probably have a few tough days too, but I will hold onto this moment to remind myself that I will overcome it. Just like I did today. 

And maybe, if I can do it. So can you. 

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